Love Story

2 worlds of love

by kikita425

At 15 i loved for the first time and it seemed only amazing and only perfect... loving without limits it was the most wonderful thing id ever felt... the millions of times we were told we were to young to love... but in 3 in a half years we managed to stick together and fight for one anothers love... we never gave up just loved harder and harder with each look, kiss and touch... man wen we finally made it to 18 and he asked me to be his wife with out question i said yes cuz i knew our love... it was strong and more amazing by this time... but then the most horrible thing happened he was killed in a car accident in his home country by a drunk driver... he was away playing base ball and man i missed him so much but driving one morning home i recieved the fone call  that my baby had pasted away... i almost drove into a tree cuz i could see past my own tears... that day was the worst day of my life... i was in my last year of high skool and graduation was only 3 months away but the pain in my heart wouldnt let me get outta bed... i wud cry and cry all thru the night even in my sleep i cried... i didnt wanna wake up bcuz seeing him my dreams was the only place where i cud b with him and love him and hear him and feel him... id sleep 16 to 18 hours outta the days crying thru my sleep... my heart was truly suffering... all i wanted was to hear his voice see his face and kiss his lips but that was all so far gone... my world had ended in a blink of and eye... its been 2 and a half years later and still the hurt is still there wen i feel sad or hurt i find myself living our love again my head... i knw ill never stop loving him but its different now... i live in love with the memory of our love n also in love with a man that resently stole my heart... ive wondered repeatedly if i am wrong for loving again... but i spent 2 n a half years alone not wanting or trying to let go and move on... but finally a new man stepped in and took my heart and the feeling was amazing cuz it felt good to love again... tho questions flew thru my head i let my heart open to try love again... this love is nothing like my 1st this one has ups and down and is completely imperfect... it strike the heart with happiness like it does sadness and hurt... but ive accepted everything that comes with this love... at first i felt like i was cheating on my 1st love or that he would think i didnt love him anymore but that never will be the truth... loving this new man hasnt been the easiest... his past and his history was hard to accept but i did bcuz my heart choose to look past it... and even tho no one thinks we shud be together i wanna love him forever wit out limits and give him all the love a woman can give a man... but will that ever b good enough... all the people in my life tell me he dont deserve me that im far to good for him... but i dont understand why they cant let that be my choice... hes amazing as a person but he doesnt give himself the credit he deserves he holds on to all the hurt in his past and i guess sometimes it puts the wall up to try to push me away... loving him isnt easy but being with out him his so much harder... ive giving up so much for him and i knw its not fair that i still love my first and some days hes feels like i want him to b like him but that will never b true... if i wanted another man like my first love i wud have stayed loving him n completely b alone forever... but i just cant forget the past... that was my forever and always... but now i look ahead n i see myself with this new man but he must remain my secret cuz the world isnt ready for us... but slowly with patience and time we will show the world that a love like our is hard to find... thru good and bad we always find away back to each others arms... and its the most amazing place to be... so yea hes my secret love but no matter what this is what i want and need... cuz it feels amazing to get the chance to go to sleep to his amazing face and waking up to it is astonishing... ive been told i live in 2 worlds of love but wen will everyone understand thats its all just one but this heart has to loves in it one that is all memories and the other that is memories in the making...