The Day Satan Appeared in Church
A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.Everyone started screaming and running for the back entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God’s ultimate enemy was in his presence.
So Satan walked up to the man and said, ‘Do you know who I am?’
The man replied, ‘Yep, sure do.’
‘Aren’t you afraid of me?’ Satan asked.
‘Nope, sure ain’t.’ said the man.
Don’t you realize I can kill you with one word?’ asked Satan.
‘Don’t doubt it for a minute, ‘ returned the old man, in an even tone.
‘Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying agony for all eternity?’ persisted Satan.
‘Yep,’ was the calm reply.
‘And you’re still not afraid?’ asked Satan.
‘Nope,’ said the old man.
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, ‘ Why aren’t you afraid of me?’
The man calmly replied, ‘ Been married to your sister for 48 years.’
Friday, December 24, 2010
Ivory Coast violence may have claimed almost 200 lives, says US envoy
by David Smith and Reuters
Nearly 200 people may have been killed in Ivory Coast in political violence sparked by last month's disputed election, the US said today.
Eyewitness accounts of death squads abducting opposition sympathisers have emerged from the west African country since President Laurent Gbagbo's refusal to give up power.
At a special session of the UN human rights council in Geneva, American ambassador Betty E King said: "We have credible reports that almost 200 people may have already been killed, with dozens more tortured or mistreated, and others have been snatched from their home in the middle of the night."
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1910
(Submitted by Polaroide)
Sharks Wary of Drunk Serbs
The Serbian hero was too drunk to remember what had happened, though one of his friends who witnessed the incident explained it all for the Belgrade based media.
Dragan Stevic was dubbed by the Egyptian media as "Shark El Sheikh" and thanked him for saving their tourist season.
Milovan Ubirapa, one of Stevic’s friend who witnessed the incident explained that Dragan had decided to go to the beach for a swim after a long night of drinking. As Dragan and his friends approached the beach, he saw a fairly high positioned jumping board utilized earlier in the day by divers.
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China Matches U.S. Space Launches for First Time
Outwardly, it looked like just another big space launch – and those happen about once a week, from spaceports all around the world. But Friday’s blast-off of a rocket, carrying a Chinese GPS-style navigation satellite, from the Xi Chang Satellite Launch Center was different. It set a record for successful Chinese launches in one year: 15. The launch represented another important milestone. For the first time since the chilliest days of the Cold War, another country has matched the U.S. in sheer number of rocket launches.
To some observers, the rapid acceleration of the Chinese space program is perfectly reasonable, even expected. With nearly 20 percent of the world’s population and the planet’s second-biggest economy by some measures, it stands to reason that China would join other advanced, spacefaring nations — and on a grander scale. But more cautious (or alarmist, depending on your point of view) China-watchers question Beijing’s motives … and warn of potentially dire consequences if China comes to dominate the heavens.
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Shadow Wars Get Big Bucks in Last-Minute Defense Bill
Defying Beltway expectations, both chambers of Congress approved a $724.6 billion defense bill for the current fiscal year. Congress was feeling generous, and the money lavished on the U.S.’ proxies shows it.
The big winner is Pakistan. The $400 million Pakistan Counterinsurgency Fund, which provides helicopters, night-vision equipment and training to the Pakistan’s Army and Frontier Corps, gets another re-up. There’s also $1.6 billion to reimburse Pakistan (and some other nations, but really Pakistan) for “cooperating in contingency operations in Afghanistan,” which must come as a surprise to U.S., Afghan and Pakistani troops. This cash appears to be yet another U.S. down payment for the Pakistanis to invade North Waziristan, something they’re currently pledging to do the week after never.
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Iran recruiting nuclear scientists for weapons programme
By Damien McElroy, Geneva
They claim that the country is particularly reliant on North Korean scientists but also recruits people with expertise from African countries to work on developing missiles and nuclear production activities.
North Korea relies on an lucrative financing agreement with Iran to fund its expanding nuclear activities. In return for Iranian money and testing facilities, North Korea sends technology and scientists.
Mohamed Reza Heydari, a former Iranian consul in Oslo, told The Daily Telegraph, that he had personally helped scores of North Koreans enter the country while working for the foreign ministry's office in Tehran's Imam Khomenei airport.
"Our mission was to coordinate with a team from the Ministry of Intelligence in checking the visas of the foreign diplomatic and trade delegates who visited Iran, with special attention to VIPs," he said.
"We had the instructions to forego any visa and passport inspections for Palestinians belonging to Hamas and North Korean military and engineering staff who visit Iran on regular basis.
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Mustafa Kemal Ataturk
Every time I post a story about a Turkish hero kicking ass for the crescent moon, I can generally come into the office Monday expecting a series of emails from my legions of faithful Turkish readers reminding me, "Yes, this guy is very cool, but you're still missing the biggest badass in our country's history so WTF is up with that shit."
"The biggest badass in Turkish history" no small claim for a land that produced a few centuries of uber-powerful, harem-packing sultans who commanded vast amounts of wealth and flexed nuts over even more massive swaths of land, yet it still appears that despite the excellent pedigree of ass-whomping awesomeness going down in Anatolia, one man stands alone as the unequivocal national hero – Mustafa Kemal Ataturk. An, asskicking whirlwind of leadership who is almost universally beloved by his people and respected by his enemies. A guy who made a name for himself by crushing his battle opponents' balls with over-the-top displays of hardcore bayonet-to-face destruction on the battlefield, yet still somehow found a way to end up being honored by the United Nations for promoting "world peace, international understanding, and respect for human rights." A man so unapproachably hardcore that it's actually illegal to publicly insult him in his home country, assuming the locals don't kick your ass into a paste and you somehow survive to see your trial.
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6 Near Death Experiences Caught on Video
YouTube has given us a lot of things: vlogs, Fred, one billion parody videos of Beyonce's "Single Ladies" starring adorable kittens instead of saucy black ladies. And now, finally, it's given us something to make up for all of that horrible, horrible bullshit: The ability to watch people nearly die from the safety of our own Cheeto-stained ergonomic office chairs. I'm not talking about hillbilly fireworks accidents or teenage skateboard shenanigans, either; I'm talking about very real, extremely terrifying and possibly bowel-exploding, first-person POV accounts that chronicle what it's really like to survive the scariest disasters possible. You can experience all of it -- the thrills, the adventure, the adrenalin -- and you don't even have to put on pants! In fact, you probably shouldn't (See: Bowel Explosion, above.)
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Ancient humans, dubbed 'Denisovans', interbred with us
Scientists say an entirely separate type of human identified from bones in Siberia co-existed and interbred with our own species.
The ancient humans have been dubbed Denisovans after the caves in Siberia where their remains were found.
There is also evidence that this group was widespread in Eurasia.
A study in Nature journal shows that Denisovans co-existed with Neanderthals and interbred with our species - perhaps around 50,000 years ago.
An international group of researchers sequenced a complete genome from one of the ancient hominins (human-like creatures), based on nuclear DNA extracted from a finger bone.
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Thursday, December 23, 2010
Joke
The Day Satan Appeared in Church
A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.Everyone started screaming and running for the back entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God’s ultimate enemy was in his presence.
So Satan walked up to the man and said, ‘Do you know who I am?’
The man replied, ‘Yep, sure do.’
‘Aren’t you afraid of me?’ Satan asked.
‘Nope, sure ain’t.’ said the man.
Don’t you realize I can kill you with one word?’ asked Satan.
‘Don’t doubt it for a minute, ‘ returned the old man, in an even tone.
‘Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying agony for all eternity?’ persisted Satan.
‘Yep,’ was the calm reply.
‘And you’re still not afraid?’ asked Satan.
‘Nope,’ said the old man.
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, ‘ Why aren’t you afraid of me?’
The man calmly replied, ‘ Been married to your sister for 48 years.’
A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.Everyone started screaming and running for the back entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God’s ultimate enemy was in his presence.
So Satan walked up to the man and said, ‘Do you know who I am?’
The man replied, ‘Yep, sure do.’
‘Aren’t you afraid of me?’ Satan asked.
‘Nope, sure ain’t.’ said the man.
Don’t you realize I can kill you with one word?’ asked Satan.
‘Don’t doubt it for a minute, ‘ returned the old man, in an even tone.
‘Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying agony for all eternity?’ persisted Satan.
‘Yep,’ was the calm reply.
‘And you’re still not afraid?’ asked Satan.
‘Nope,’ said the old man.
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, ‘ Why aren’t you afraid of me?’
The man calmly replied, ‘ Been married to your sister for 48 years.’
5 San Marcos residents who went to Mexico in November still missing
The FBI is looking for five San Marcos residents who have been missing in Mexico since Nov. 27.
Some are employees of a San Marcos concrete company who went to pick up a work-related vehicle in Laredo, said Erik Vasys, an FBI special agent.
The missing people are Luis Hernandez, Carlos Ortega, Nicolas Munoz, Ricardo Gomez and 14-year-old Giovanni Gomez, KVUE-TV reported.
The group crossed the Texas-Mexico border into Nuevo Laredo, Tamaulipas, on Nov. 27 for what was supposed to be a one-day trip. They haven't been heard from since, Vasys said.
He said authorities are treating the disappearances as missing persons cases. U.S. and Mexican authorities are cooperating in the investigation, Vasys said.
"We are aggressively pursuing every lead," he said.
source: http://www.statesman.com/news/local/5-san-marcos-residents-who-went-to-mexico-1139354.html?cxtype=rss_news
Some are employees of a San Marcos concrete company who went to pick up a work-related vehicle in Laredo, said Erik Vasys, an FBI special agent.
The missing people are Luis Hernandez, Carlos Ortega, Nicolas Munoz, Ricardo Gomez and 14-year-old Giovanni Gomez, KVUE-TV reported.
The group crossed the Texas-Mexico border into Nuevo Laredo, Tamaulipas, on Nov. 27 for what was supposed to be a one-day trip. They haven't been heard from since, Vasys said.
He said authorities are treating the disappearances as missing persons cases. U.S. and Mexican authorities are cooperating in the investigation, Vasys said.
"We are aggressively pursuing every lead," he said.
source: http://www.statesman.com/news/local/5-san-marcos-residents-who-went-to-mexico-1139354.html?cxtype=rss_news
1928
(Submitted by Lisa De Torres)
Ivory Coast risks return to civil war, UN warns
by David Smith in Johannesburg and Associated Press
The head of the UN warned today that Ivory Coast faces a "real risk" of return to civil war after post-election violence.
Ban Ki-moon, the UN's secretary general, said it would not tolerate any attempt by president Laurent Gbagbo to starve out its peacekeepers.
Gbagbo's refusal to surrender power after the disputed presidential election has triggered unrest in Ivory Coast, where north and south fought a civil war in 2002-03. A French government spokesman, François Baroin, today urged French nationals to leave temporarily. At least 15,000 live in Ivory Coast, which maintains close ties to the former colonial power.
The UN and other world leaders recognise Alassane Ouattara, a northern Muslim, as the winner of last month's election.
Gbagbo, a southern Christian, has forces surrounding the Golf hotel in Abidjan, where his rival has set up headquarters, protected by the UN. The UN has expressed concern that people inside are not getting medication, and that delivery of food and water has also been impeded.
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Obama signs historic bill ending 'don't ask, don't tell'
At a ceremony at the Interior Department, Obama thanked "all the patriots ... who were forced to hang up their uniforms" because of the policy, which dates to early in the Clinton administration.
Obama said all the service chiefs are committed to "implementing this change swiftly." He said that one day, people will look back and wonder "why it was ever a source of controversy in the first place."
Obama said he hopes all those who left the service because of the policy will seek to re-enlist. And he encouraged all gays to consider service.
"Your country needs you, your country wants you, we will be honored to welcome you into the ranks," he said.
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Most Expensive Signatures in the World
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Assange hits out at reports detailing sex assault claims
By News Desk
Julian Assange has lashed out at The Guardian newspaper for "selectively publishing" details of the police report in which two women accuse the WikiLeaks founder of rape.
In an interview with the British newspaper The Times, published Tuesday, Assange also said he believed that someone leaked the Swedish police report detailing his alleged sexual offenses, and timed it to coincide with his bail application.
Assange spent nine days in jail in London on an extradition request by Sweden. He was released on bail with strict conditions and is staying at a mansion in Norfolk outside of London.
The Guardian is one of several publications that has partnered with WikiLeaks in editing and publishing secret U.S. diplomatic files, in exchange for early access to them.
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WikiLeaks revelations keep coming, but few pay attention
Most Western news outlets are now focusing almost exclusively on the fate of WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange. Few are paying attention to the details of Assange’s rape allegations in Sweden, which have sparked an interesting —though limited— debate about possible links between Assange’s accusers and American intelligence. Even fewer are paying attention to the actual US diplomatic cable revelations by WikiLeaks, which keep appearing daily, mostly in British quality broadsheet The Guardian (The New York Times has largely lost interest at this point). One such revelation, published on Monday, concerns allegations by the Director of the Shabat, also known as Shin Bet (Israel’s internal security service), that Palestinian group Fatah asked Israel to attack rival Palestinian group Hamas, in 2007. The leaked cable claims Shin Bet director Yuval Diskin told US diplomats that Fatah, the secular Palestinian nationalist faction that controls the West Bank, was “demoralized” and “desperate” to halt the rapid rise of Islamic Hamas, which controls the Gaza Strip. Diskin further told US officials that Fatah understood it could only survive with Israeli support, and had thus directly “asked us [Israel] to attack Hamas”. Perhaps more importantly, the leaked cable appears to confirm intense speculation among some intelligence observers that Fatah is “actively gathering information on behalf of Israeli intelligence”. Specifically, Diskin told US diplomats that Fatah’s security force maintains a “very good working relationship” with Israeli intelligence and shares with Shin Bet “almost all the intelligence that it collects”. This disclosure appears to confirm allegations made last April by Hamas official Mohammed Nazal, who said that Fatah Central Committee member Mohammed Dahlan, leader of Fatah’s security service, was actively gathering information on behalf of Israeli intelligence. The latest WikiLeaks disclosures are some of the very few concerning Israel that have been released so far by the whistleblower website.
source: https://intelligencenews.wordpress.com/2010/12/22/01-619/
Christmas Truce at the World War I Front
In a place where bloodshed was nearly commonplace and mud and the enemy were fought with equal vigor, something surprising occurred on the front for Christmas in 1914. The men who lay shivering in the trenches embraced the Christmas spirit. In one of the truest acts of goodwill toward men, soldiers from both sides in the southern portion of the Ypres Salient set aside their weapons and hatred, if only temporarily, and met in No Man's Land.
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Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Joke
THE SEVEN STAGES OF SEX
The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. * This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. * This is when you have been with your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.
The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. * This is when you have been with your partner for a long time.. Your sex has gotten routine ,and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.
The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex. * This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say ‘screw you.’
The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex. * Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. (Very Popular)
The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex. * This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.
And; Last, but not least, The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex. * You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself.
PLEASE DO NOT TELL US WHAT STAGE YOU ARE IN.
We have enough problems of my own ^_^
The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. * This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. * This is when you have been with your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.
The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. * This is when you have been with your partner for a long time.. Your sex has gotten routine ,and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.
The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex. * This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say ‘screw you.’
The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex. * Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. (Very Popular)
The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex. * This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.
And; Last, but not least, The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex. * You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself.
PLEASE DO NOT TELL US WHAT STAGE YOU ARE IN.
We have enough problems of my own ^_^
Chili Parlor's Capitol Challenge: Binge for the cure
If you're not doing anything Wednesday afternoon around 3 and you want to see something a bit disturbing, or at least messy, drop by the Texas Chili Parlor at 1409 Lavaca St. for the Capitol Challenge.
Big eaters who can pound down about 6½ pounds of food shaped like the Capitol in 40 minutes — four hot dogs and six burgers covered with chili and cheese — get a $35 gift certificate, a commemorative "I took down the Capitol!" T-shirt, a photo of themselves on the restaurant's "Wall of Honor," and a lifetime supply of Beano.
Just kidding about the Beano. But it is true that people who enter have to sign a waiver that says,"I freely and by my own admission know this is not a smart thing to do."
"It's just a big old plate of food," said Scott "Zoob" Zublin, the Chili Parlor's owner.
A big old plate of food. Maybe that's why only three guys have committed so far: Jorge Rodriguez, the Chili Parlor's prep cook (maybe they bribed him with a raise); Carl the cabbie ("If any of our customers get a little inebriated, we call Carl," Zoob said); and Will Holmes, a bartender at the Elephant Room. A Chili Parlor regular known as Big Wayne backed out.
"He's got a sore tooth," Zoob said. Then again, maybe he's just smart.
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Probable Carcinogen Found in Tap Water of 31 U.S. Cities
In 25 of 35 U.S. cities where tap water supplies were tested for hexavalent chromium -- deemed likely to cause cancer in humans in a U.S. EPA draft review this year -- levels of the chemical exceeded the minimum set by the state of California to protect public health, according to a report released today by an environmental group.
The Environmental Working Group's (EWG) new findings mark a public flare-up in the behind-the-scenes battle over estimating the carcinogenicity of oral exposure to hexavalent chromium, also referred to as chromium-6. The draft EPA assessment released in September could pave the way for a national drinking-water standard for the chemical, best known for polluting groundwater in Hinkley, Calif., where activist Erin Brockovich won a multimillion-dollar settlement for locals and became a household name.
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North Korea steps back, but South Korea remains on high alert
h Korea has stepped back from the brink of war and is ready for a new round of regional peace talks, an unofficial US envoy to Pyongyang said today as a sceptical South Korea kept its troops on high alert and lit up a provocative Christmas tree on the border.
Bill Richardson, governor of New Mexico, said North Korea has promised to re-admit United Nations nuclear inspectors and to sell its neighbour 12,000 plutonium fuel rods, which would reduce its potential bomb-making stockpile.
"My sense is the North Koreans realise that they have moved too negatively against negotiations, that they have taken some very bad steps and they wanted to move in the right direction," Richardson told reporters. "I think it is important that a new effort at re-engagement takes place among the six-party countries [involved in nuclear talks]. Maybe now is the time for the six-party countries to reach out to North Korea and say, 'Okay, let's get down to business.' "
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Author of paedophilia guide to face charges in US
A man who wrote a how-to guide for paedophiles was arrested on Monday and will be extradited to Florida to face obscenity charges, after police there ordered a copy of the book that has generated online outrage.
Officers arrested Phillip R. Greaves at his home in Colorado on Monday on a warrant that charges him with violating Florida's obscenity law.
During a brief court appearance, Mr Greaves waived his right to fight extradition to Florida, where Sheriff Grady Judd claimed jurisdiction because the author sold and mailed his book directly to undercover officers. Sheriff Judd said Mr Greaves even signed the book.
"I was outraged by the content," Sheriff Judd told The Associated Press. "It was clearly a manifesto on how to sexually batter children ... You just can't believe how absolutely disgusting it was."
The book – "The Pedophile's Guide to Love and Pleasure: a Child-lover's Code of Conduct" – caused controversy when it showed up on Amazon in November. The book was later removed from the site.
Mr Greaves, who has no criminal record, writes in the book that paedophiles are misunderstood, as the word literally means to love a child. He adds that it is only a crime to act on sexual impulses toward children, and offers advice that purportedly allows paedophiles to abide by the law.
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Officers arrested Phillip R. Greaves at his home in Colorado on Monday on a warrant that charges him with violating Florida's obscenity law.
During a brief court appearance, Mr Greaves waived his right to fight extradition to Florida, where Sheriff Grady Judd claimed jurisdiction because the author sold and mailed his book directly to undercover officers. Sheriff Judd said Mr Greaves even signed the book.
"I was outraged by the content," Sheriff Judd told The Associated Press. "It was clearly a manifesto on how to sexually batter children ... You just can't believe how absolutely disgusting it was."
The book – "The Pedophile's Guide to Love and Pleasure: a Child-lover's Code of Conduct" – caused controversy when it showed up on Amazon in November. The book was later removed from the site.
Mr Greaves, who has no criminal record, writes in the book that paedophiles are misunderstood, as the word literally means to love a child. He adds that it is only a crime to act on sexual impulses toward children, and offers advice that purportedly allows paedophiles to abide by the law.
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U.S. Military Seeks to Expand Raids in Pakistan
Afghanistan are pushing for an expanded campaign of Special Operations ground raids across the border into Pakistan’s tribal areas, a risky strategy reflecting the growing frustration with Pakistan’s efforts to root out militants there.
The proposal, described by American officials in Washington and Afghanistan, would escalate military activities inside Pakistan, where the movement of American forces has been largely prohibited because of fears of provoking a backlash.
The plan has not yet been approved, but military and political leaders say a renewed sense of urgency has taken hold, as the deadline approaches for the Obama administration to begin withdrawing its forces from Afghanistan. Even with the risks, military commanders say that using American Special Operations troops could bring an intelligence windfall, if militants were captured, brought back across the border into Afghanistan and interrogated.
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The World's Biggest Cave
In 2009, a team of British cavers investigated a recently uncovered cave in a remote Vietnamese jungle. The Son Doong cave is enormous; can it be larger than the current world-record holder? The explorers traveled for miles through the cave before hitting a 46-foot-high wall. Now, follow the team as they return to Son Doong to finish exploring the cave and climb the wall. Will Son Doong prove to be the worlds biggest cave? And what secrets are undiscovered inside this unique ecosystem?
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